Your Neighbor in Real Estate: When the Sibs Squabble and Don't Play Nice In ventura County

When the Sibs Squabble and Don't Play Nice In ventura County

When the Sibs Squabble and Don't Play Nice In Ventura County

How many of us are familiar with whine, …”Mommy, Johnny took my toy and....” or “..he’s not playing fair and... “Family community

So Mom is drawn into the fray and must decide who gets what, why and when and ends the argument by saying,...”just get along, please, and play nice..”

Fast forward 50 years and these kids, now are senior adults and they still cannot get along. But poor Mom is gone now. In fact, that is what has started all the bitterness, all over again. Mom may or may not left instructions, but it does not matter to some individuals. They will cry and whine about what they don’t have.

Only now, …”here come the Judge..”  The Judge hears both sides and appoints a Receiver or Trustee to handle the sale of the familial home. It does not matter if one of the siblings is still living there. Mom is not going to be settling this argument.

This is where I come in. I now have to determine value, and see about putting the home on the market. I answer to no one but the attorney, who has been designated receiver or trustee, depending on the circumstances. And he/she answers only to the judge and many times they do not need court approval for the sale. I listen patiently to any of they siblings if they contact me, or if they share their worries about this one or that one taking things like family photos, or trivial items of their childhood. I am empathetic to all sides since it is my job to bring closure to those involved.

The end result is most definitely going to mean less money to split up. Now the fees begin to add up. The trustee gets paid. The real estate agent he/she hires gets paid. Any other fees that result from getting the home sold are added to the list to be paid. The siblings could have saved themselves a lot of money, grief and heartache if they had just listened to their mom's sage advice of old... " get along and play nice" ............................................................................................

If you are looking for a Realtor with experience in dealing with attorneys as trustees/receivers, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Sandy Acevedo ~Your Neighbor in Real Estate ~ Whether it is to buy or sell property

                 in Riverside or San Bernadino County, I can help!~


If you are interested in learning more about Inland Empire Real Estate, please contact me. I am ready to assist you! 

Sandy Nichols HAFA Specialist


HAFA Certified and I can assist you with foreclosure alternatives.



Sandy Acevedo   Cell: (951) 290-8588  BRE #01178979

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Comment balloon 16 commentsSandy Acevedo • November 10 2011 12:04AM


I'm not an attorney Sandy, but I think a will would have helped greatly in this case.

Posted by Tom Arstingstall, General Contractor, Dry Rot, Water Damage Sacramento, El Dorado County - (916) 765-5366, General Contractor, Dry Rot and Water Damage (Dry Rot and Water Damage Mobile - 916-765-5366) about 8 years ago

Hi Sandy! It is so important for people to leave a will with specific instructions on how to dispose of or divide property among survivors.

Posted by Rose King, Friendswood / Pearland / Houston Bay Area (David Tracy Real Estate) about 8 years ago

This is so sad when these things happen.  Even with a will, sometimes you still end up with lawyers and judges- I've seen it happen.  In fact, that was even more of a waste of time and money because, in the end, the will stood as written.  But the siblings in that case did not speak to each other for 10 years.  Very sad.

Posted by Emilie Greenwell (ALLEN REALTORS) about 8 years ago

Hi Tom and Rose, sometimes even if a will is left, some heirs still fight it. The one I'm working on has eight siblings fighting and forming factions against the others. Just crazy.

Posted by Sandy Acevedo, RE/MAX Masters, Inland Empire Homes for Sale (951-290-8588) about 8 years ago

Sandy - You've made a great point, and reminded everyone that it's time to get things in order.  Nicely done.

Posted by Laura Allen, Lake Tahoe - Truckee Real Estate for Sale, Tahoe Real Estate Agent Helping Buyers and Sellers (Coldwell Banker, Tahoe City, CA (530) 414-1260) about 8 years ago

Hi Emilie, that's exactly what I mean. It is sad and they are not honoring their parents memory and lose some of their inheritance.


Hi Laura, Thanks for stopping by and I appreciate your kind words.

Posted by Sandy Acevedo, RE/MAX Masters, Inland Empire Homes for Sale (951-290-8588) about 8 years ago

I sure don't envy you getting to deal with 8 warring siblings. I'll bet you'd love to tell all of them to sit down, be quiet, and act their age. And to play nice!

I admire your patience.

Posted by Marte Cliff, Your real estate writer (Marte Cliff Copywriting) about 8 years ago

Hard to reason with someone in pain and someone that feels they are right and won't hear differently.  Sad how common these issues are.  

Posted by Laura Sargent (Carolina One Real Estate) about 8 years ago

Hi Marte, they are only hurting themselves in the long run as they will regret their behavior.


Hi Laura, perhaps they are and are taking it out on one another.

Posted by Sandy Acevedo, RE/MAX Masters, Inland Empire Homes for Sale (951-290-8588) about 8 years ago

Sandy -- Inheriting money does strange things to some people....even WITH a will. One doesn't want the other one to get more, another thinks s/he should have received something and didn't, and many times these situations destroy the family if they do not have a strong family dynamic to begin with. Regardless of the situation, people in this situation need an experienced professional like yourself to help guide the process and not have it go off the rails.

Posted by Barbara Altieri, REALTOR-Fairfield County CT Homes/Condos For Sale (Kinard Realty Group - RealtyQuest Team, Fairfield and New Haven County CT Real Estate) about 8 years ago

As you may know, I am a retired attorney, as well as a Realtor, and the most agonizing cases I ever had were when I was the attorney for a conservatorship or probate.  When an elderly person can no longer manage his life and his affairs, a consservatorship may be established to manage things for him.  It was up to me to see that every penny was accounted for, and in turn I had to report to the court annually. 

The grown siblings were never happy and they fought among themselves constantly over who should be in charge of what and whether things were being done correctly.  I finally bowed out of working with conservatorships.  Probate was the same. 

When a loved one dies, those who loved him and were left behind don't have any where to direct their grief, anger, guilty feelings and frustrations, so they turn on each other for awhile.  It eventually dies down, but it is tough for the attorney in the middle of it in the meantime.  Real estate cases were so much easier on my stress levels!

Posted by Susan Neal, Fair Oaks CA & Sacramento Area Real Estate Broker (RE/MAX Gold, Fair Oaks) about 8 years ago

Hi Barbara, so true about the heirs. And there isn't even that much to fight over. Thanks for stopping by.


Hi Susan, No, I didn't know you were a retired attorney. So true about grown siblings. It is like they carry their childhood baggage into what should be adulthood.

Posted by Sandy Acevedo, RE/MAX Masters, Inland Empire Homes for Sale (951-290-8588) about 8 years ago

Oh, Sandy!  This could have been my family.  Fortunately, my mother left all of her affairs in amazingly tidy condition so there isn't a whole lot to argue about.  And the half dozen siblings get along pretty well.  Now we just have to get the house sold! 

Posted by Patricia Kennedy, Home in the Capital (RLAH Real Estate) about 8 years ago

Hi Patricia, it is great your mother left things in order and more importantly, that your siblings are adhering to her wishes. Have a great Holiday!


Posted by Sandy Acevedo, RE/MAX Masters, Inland Empire Homes for Sale (951-290-8588) about 8 years ago

Sandy, I went through one of these. It's not easy handling all those personalities and their baggage so I can empathize. Good luck. And, I'm suggesting.

Posted by Toni Weidman, 20+ Years Selling Homes in New Port Richey, FL (Sailwinds Realty) about 8 years ago

Hi Toni, so true juggling all that.  Thank you.

Posted by Sandy Acevedo, RE/MAX Masters, Inland Empire Homes for Sale (951-290-8588) about 8 years ago